Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Moving to Utah... Regrets?!

So recently in a conversation with a friend the topic of me moving to Utah came up. She knows why I came out here, but she asked in so many words if I regretted it or if I'm even happy here. That got me thinking... So here's my response...

As many of you know I moved to Utah on faith and a prompting. I knew that it was the right thing for me to do. I didn't understand why or even how it was all going to work out, but I knew it was what I needed to do for me. As I planned to move here things fell into place, which only confirmed that I needed to go. I moved into an basement apartment in Orem. Probably for the first 6 months I REALLY did not like the fact that I was in Utah. It wasn't horrible, it just wasn't where I wanted to be. I took a trip home that Christmas and realized how much I had gotten used to being on my own and how much I had grown. I came back to Utah with a bit of a better attitude. Although I will admit I still had a bit of a chip on my shoulder. I did get out a lil bit more and made some friends. I later moved into an amazing house and loved my roommates. I also got a job that I enjoyed a lot more. Although I still missed home a ton, and still told people I don't know what I was thinking when I left Hawaii, I was learning to love Orem and the life that I had... it only took me a year and a half. I enjoyed the two jobs I had, loved my bosses at BOTH jobs, I had wonderful roommates, loved my ward and bishop, and I had good friends. What more could I ask for right?! Well, Heavenly Father had other ideas. He felt it was time for me to move AGAIN! I was SO SO SO not happy. I mean, I know the man has a plan and purpose for everything BUT FOR REAL?! WHAT THE HECK?! If anything this prompting was even clearer and stronger then the one I got to move to Utah. I immediately craved that chip back on my shoulder that I had when I moved to Utah and that I had not too long before that had gotten rid of. But, I quickly quit both job and picked up my life and moved an hour north of where I was, to a little place called Clearfield. Luckily, I had my sister Pua up here with me (and Kahi in Provo), or else I might not have made it. Since moving to Clearfield... WOW! I have been challenged like I didn't even think possible. I had a plan, and when things did not come together as I thought they would have, I got very discouraged. I never questioned if I made the right move by picking up so quickly and moving because I knew that I did the right thing. But I questioned my purpose for being moved at all. I didn't see it. And even though I know that I may not see His purpose in the things that he does, it didn't help me stay positive. I struggled everyday. I still struggle. But after being here for 9 months, things are feeling more enjoyable and less like a struggle, which I LOVE! Things feel like they're coming together. Things seem to be a lil better every day. I still get tested every day, but I have a renewed hope about life in general. Its very nice. I'm learning to let go of my bitterness and do away with that chip on my shoulder. I remind myself daily to find the simple pleasures of life!! To be that happy person I know I am.
Overall, I'm so grateful for the experiences that I've had since moving to Utah. They have all not been enjoyable or pleasant. BUT I've been able to learn and grow so much. I've learned how to live with strangers... amazing, fun, crazy (literally), and unpleasant. Something that I really needed to learn was how to rely on my family more. I've always pretty independent. Its amazing when you move away to a place where you know few people (as few as I can in MY world, being from Laie, and Uncle Sam's daughter), I really learned that my family were the most constant people in my life that I could call upon at any time and they would be there for me. I learned to appreciate my parents both individually and together. I constantly catch myself doing things or remembering things that they taught me and worked so hard to instill in me. And some I admit I NEVER thought I'd care about, or I didn't even realize that I WAS listening and paying attention to what they were trying to teach me. I learned how to communicate better with family and friends. When you're so far apart there are so many things that can just be assumed... and we all know what assuming does... so through trial and error I've learned to not assume and communicate. I've learned who my REAL and TRUE friends are. I've learned to let go or distance myself from those who bring me down. I've learned to be grateful for the little things. I've realized how much I took home and all of Hawaii for granted, wish I never had, and know that I never will again. I've learned to take care of myself in so many ways that I had neglected before. Most of all I've learned to trust and rely on Heavenly Father. To have the faith that I need. My tetsimony has grown so much since I've come here. I can't even begin to explain all the I've learned and how much I've grown since coming here.... words wouldn't do it justice.
My only 2 regrets... 1. Some of my stupid mistake that I've made, man I wish I could take some of those back. But I also realize that with those choices came the experiences that have made me who I am. 2. That I haven't had a better attitude about moving here. That I wasn't so bitter for so long. I know that there has been a plan all along. I know that there was and is still a purpose to me moving here. But I realize now that even though I moved here because I was doing the right thing I didn't do it with the right attitude. There's a difference in doing something willingly because you are asked, and doing it JUST because you were told and not really looking at it for what it truely is.
My plan now... learn all that I can. Take every alst bit in... with the RIGHT attitude. Grow as much as I can... spiritually MUCH more then physically LOL! Work as hard as I can to have my own life plan match up with Heavenly Fathers. Learn to love Utah... as much as my mom does or at least close to it, appreciate all it has to offer and its beauty. And to smile and laugh my way through life!!! I'm sure there are hard times ahead... but now more then ever I realize I get to choose if those hard times are gonna get to me or not. Like my mom says... Water off a ducks back!!!! Or my favorite new motto... Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... its about learning to dance in the rain.
Dancing here I come....

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Tagged by Lia... AGES AGO!!!

The Picture Mem: Find pictures that fit the following categories.

Dream Vacation:

I would love to go to Venice, Italy. Mostly cause that's my name and also cause I just think it would be cool.

I would also love to go to New Zealand. I just think its beautiful and since I haven't been out of the country yet, so hey why not right?!

Okay but FOR REAL... what I'd REALLY LOVE to do for a vacation is go around the USA and Canada to visit all the temples. Drive all over the country and sight see. PLUS see the temples. Then later I'd like to go around the world to see the rest.

Dream Car:

Its all about stow-n-go!!!! Seriously, I'm not only really all about vans... yet anyway... but I'm sure as a mom I'm gonna want or even need a van. And when that time comes... it'll be all about stow-n-go!!!

But really... I like trucks! I don't know that I have a specific truck that I'm really into at the moment. But I'd MUCH rather have a truck then a van!!!

Favorite Place to Shop:

Okay... so really I don't have a fav place to shop. PLUS I don't really go shopping, partially cause I'm poor and partially cause I don't have the patience to shop. But here are some of the places that I do shop when I do... or that I have been recently anyway.

Favorite Flower:

My favorite flower at home is the plumeria for a couple reasons... it reminds me of home and they remind me of my grandma.

I also really like gerber daisies!! They make me happy. I love how big and colorful they are.

Guilty Pleasure:

I'm gonna have to go with sleeping. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to sleep!!!! Some of you may laugh... cause I don't always get a lot of sleep, or my life style doesn't allow a lot of it. BUT when I do sleep... man do I sleep. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting so much time. I could be doing so many things, like working on one of the ten projects I usually have going on. Sometimes I'd just rather sleep though, instead of be my normal-productive-self.

Favorite Hobby:

Reading seems to be the thing I do the most

I like going to the theater or just staying home to watch movies... although I don't seem to do it as much as I used to.

Maybe I'm crazy but I like playing with kids!

And yes, I do enjoy scrap booking... or just doing crafty things.

Favorite Actress:

Okay, So I don't have a favorite actress. But here are some that I like.

Favorite Actor:

Same goes for actors!


I was born at Castle Hospital in Kailua, HI

Favorite Color(s):

Orange is my fav color. It has been for years. My mom used to hope that it was a "phase"... SORRY MOM!!! This one is here to stay.

Dream Career:

I've wanted to be a teacher my whole life... as far back as I can remember. And although I may have lost interest in it along the way, I have found my passion for it again!!!

However, I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom. Always. There's never been a question or a debate about it. My mom did it, and I see the benefits of it. I feel its one of the most important things that I can do in this world. And even though this picture is probably a good guess at what I'm going to look like, its not the reason it appeals to me. I want to be able to stay at home with my own children and watch them grown and learn. I want to be able to teach them things. And to be able to play with them. That's what appeals to me about it.

PS I tag Kelly, Head, Pua, Lilia, Kahanu, Kahi, Liz, Marie, and Ronna... and anyone else who wants to do it.